Delivering More Bad News
Posted on Tue May 20th, 2025 @ 9:44am by Lieutenant Commander Rowena McGowen & Lieutenant Vura
Edited on on Tue May 27th, 2025 @ 6:10pm
2,058 words; about a 10 minute read
Mission:
Episode 16 - Silent Cries
Location: The Quarters of Rowena McGowen - Deck 2 Section 31 - USS Pioneer
Timeline: MD001 1100 hrs
Of course, the Captain was not the only person that was going to have to undergo mandatory treatment according to Starfleet's orders. Rowena would have to, as well. Unlike the Captain, at least Rowena seemed to be open to the idea of counseling.
=^= Computer, where is Commander McGowen? =^=
=^=Commander McGowen is in her quarters =^=
Meanwhile Rowena in her quarters. She was sitting on her couch holding a pillow. She had taken a break from her usual work. She hadn't left her quarters ever since she was released from sickbay. She was haunted by the images of what she did to the crew. Especially to their chief flight operations officer. She was still somewhat unstable and healing from the damage that Malificus had done to her, was going to take some time.
Vura made her way to Rowena's quarters and rang the chime. "Rowena, it is Vura. May I come in?"
Rowena heard the chime and slowly moved her head up from her. "Oh yes, please come in, Vura." Her voice was a bit weak. She was in quite a vulnerable state right now.
This was the first time that Vura had been in Rowena's quarters. She made certain that she examined it thoroughly but nonchalantly as she entered. So, this is where Edmund will be spending much of his time.... Stop that, Vura! "I came to check up on you. How are you doing?"
Rowena put the pillow next to her. "Oh, you know, like I was possessed by an entity from another realm, and all my crew mates sent to a pocket universe." She sighed. She didn't mean it to come out like that. She was really surprised when the commodore refused to demote her. Also Malificus was really rude to most of her crew mates while they had possessed her. Something that really stuck by her. And if she was honest, she wasn't sure if Vura would come see her. Yes, she was the counselor, it was her job, but while possessed Rowena wasn't really nice to her.
"I'm pretty sure that's not a feeling," Vura answered with a small giggle. "That's just a description of what occurred." She looked around and asked, "Do you mind if I take a seat?"
Rowena shrugged, "Please, have a seat." She then sighed. "So, tell me, Vura, after you heard me describe the event, how do you think I feel? You're the counselor." She then pointed to her replicator. "Also help yourself, I don't feel like getting up right now, if you don't mind. I am not really in a state of mind to play a good host, my apologies."
"Quite understandable," Vura answered as she simply took a seat. "But I would rather you tell me how you feel. I could make a number of guesses, and I am certain I would probably be right on most of it, but it is important that I know how you view it all." After a moment the counselor added, "Especially since I will be seeing you for awhile."
Rowena took a deep breath. "I feel...horrible. I feel like crap. I am depressed. I don't even want to be here. I want to go home. But I don't have a home. My grandmother died and I had her house just...I don't know...the neighbors were interested in the land and I pretty much had no ties with it anymore. They were nice people. So yeah, I just signed it over. Long story short, I am kinda lost right now. I actually wouldn't mind a reassignment, a demotion, anything."
This answer concerned the counselor greatly. Signs of depression were evident. She would not be surprised if there was post traumatic stress disorder as well, though Rowena had not exhibited all the signs yet. "You have a home, Rowena," Vura assured the Commander. "Your home is here. But, it certainly does sound like you have a lot going on between recent events and your grandmother's passing. I'm here for you," she said soothingly.
Rowena got up from the couch. "It's not just my grandmother's death. I learned from my godmother, Captain Mazumdar, my parents were also a part of the paranormal unit. It's what got them killed. The captain couldn't tell me what exactly was going on. Not only that. My previous assignment, the USS Malificus, the crew, the captain...I was the only survivor, and the Pioneer was so close to follow them. And I haven't been an example second office. Malificus was rude to the entire crew while inside my body. But they didn't see Malificus, they saw me, heard my voice. And I can't take that back." Rowena put her hands on her head as she was now shaking. "Malificus made me do things I would never do."
Vura nodded understandingly. Soothingly and softly, Vura answered, "You told me that about the USS Malificus, whether you remember or not. Also, I'm sure that most people are going to understand that it was not you, Rowena. It may take some time to get past some awkwardness, but I assure you that people will adjust." She inched closer to Rowena. "For now, though, I'm more concerned about you. What happened to you was a violation of your very being. Worse than rape. I'm here for you. I'm here to help."
Rowena sighed. "People might adjust, I will be struggling for a while. Aside from the fact this wasn't picked in other counseling. I stopped medications 'cause they weren't helping. And all of this will be haunting me for a long time. And I did them, and not. I just don't know how to get over this."
"And that's what I came here to help you with. There is a great deal to unpack." The counselor sighed and relaxed further into Rowena's quarters. "Of course, Starfleet has made this a condition of your continuing on duty, as well. I would rather that you not think of this as mandatory, though. You already seem to be a little ahead of where I would have expected you to be."
Rowena slowly nodded. "I understand where Starfleet is coming from. They required this after the USS Malificus incident as well. I was still possessed then I know now. I wanted to believe so badly it was just my imagination, my trauma of losing my entire crew. And sometimes it still feels like a nightmare." She sighed. "There's so much to unpack. I sometimes don't know where to begin."
"You do not have to begin anywhere in particular, Rowena." She paused to let that sink in and then continued. "But you just have to begin. IF you need time off work, we can do that, too. We can meet more than once a week. Whatever you need or want. I'm here to help and serve you."
She gave the Chief Intelligence Officer a soft, sympathetic, small smile, and leaned forward towards her. "You're not alone and this time, it is gone for good."
Rowena sighed. "I haven't been back to work since it all happened. But I believe there is a shore leave, so I don't have to go back soon either. But just being in my quarters is not helping me either. I have been going through a lot. I couldn't face anyone yet. Not after everything happened. I really need to wrap my mind around everything too. So, I don't even know what I need right now."
"What you need to do is enjoy yourself. What do you enjoy, Rowena? Let's get you feeling some things that fill your heart." Even if it is Edmund.
Rowena scratched her head as she thought about it a moment. She hadn't really talked about her feelings or her personal relations or her preferences. She was so worked up about the entire Malificus situation. She sighed and smiled. "Well now that you mention it. I have been seeing someone and although it's too early to tell, I do think we are hitting it off. I don't want to go ahead of myself. I do enjoy the moments we have together and would like to continue on that note."
"Perhaps you should take some time to enjoy that right now. Who would this person be?" Vura asked, playing dumb, and wanting to confirm what Edmund had already told her.
Rowena was a little hesitant at first. She wasn't sure yet where this was going, or if she wanted anyone else to know just yet. But she couldn't keep it to herself either. And right now, Vura felt like the closest thing she had to a friend. Which was also a positive thing, which she wanted to see grow. She took a deep breath. "It's marine captain Merrick."
"He's quite the catch," Vura agreed. "The fact that you could attract his attention and go out with him says quite a lot about you. From everything that I know about him, dating is not something that he does particularly lightly."
Rowena nodded. "Yes...I know that as well. And honestly it isn't for me either. For the time that I was on the USS Maleficus and the time up until now. Dating wasn't exactly something I was really focused on. The fact I accepted the first date with him was a miracle for me, especially knowing my situation. But then again, maybe I just tried to force myself into something normal." She sighed. "And for a moment...the date...I was feeling normal. It was nice to forget the stress of knowing you are possessed and the nightmares...and just live in the moment."
"Well, it would seem to me that doing something normal when you are not possessed might assist you in helping you get back to normal and on your feet. Why not ask Mister Merrick for a lunch date or coffee? Something light? That way, if it becomes too much, you can just end the date and try again later."
Rowena nodded. "I will think about it. I do think I should do more normal things. Even get back in...a form of normal rhythm." She scratched behind her ear thinking of how she would approach this. Would she go find him or let him come to her? She looked back up to Vura. "So ehm...how often do you reckon we should meet this time?"
"Well..." Vura replied starting out. I know what I would do. We would sketch each other naked. That would be an inordinate amount of fun. "What do you know about what each of you like to do? Find something in common and perhaps do that activity."
"Yeah, I am sure Edmund and I will figure that. But what I meant is..." She took a deep breath. "How many counseling sessions do you reckon I should have? Sorry, I should've made that clearer. My bad."
"There is no timetable for this sort of thing, Rowena. Therapy lasts as long as people need it to take and some people have it for a lifetime. In fact, all counselors are required to participate in counseling as long as they're active in the profession. You can't think of counseling as a destination. You have to think of it as a journey."
Rowena nodded. "I am aware that Counseling is a means to an end. Having it described as a journey, you are the first counselor I have that described it that way. It is a nice way to describe it."
"I'm glad that you appreciate the analogy." She smiled weakly at Rowena, "So, right now, don't think about work, alright? Think about being. Think about that date." And I will try not to.
"I will...thank you...Vura. I appreciate all the help you can give me in this time." Rowena nodded as she thought about what she could do with Edmund. Or maybe she just needed it to just let it happen.
"I am always here to help, Rowena. Just tap the com and I'll come running."
A Joint Post By
Lieutenant Commander Rowena McGowen
Chief Intelligence Officer/Second Officer, USS Pioneer
Lieutenant Vura
Chief Counselor, USS Pioneer
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