You Probably Think I’m Losing It Now Don’t You
Posted on Thu Feb 6th, 2025 @ 5:34am by Lieutenant Narin Valen & Lieutenant Vura
Edited on on Thu Feb 6th, 2025 @ 5:53am
2,518 words; about a 13 minute read
Mission:
Episode 16 - Silent Cries
Location: Counselor's Office - Deck 5 - USS Pioneer
Timeline: MD003 1000 hrs
Now that the ship was back in one piece, it was time to check in with some of her follow up appointments. High on that list was Lieutenant Narin Valen. Having read reports, it appeared that he and Ensign Connor Turner had functioned very well together as assistant chiefs and kept the ship in one piece. She wondered if that eased some of his burden.
Vura waited patiently for the Lieutenant to ring her chime. She smiled to herself as she enjoyed the innuendo.
During their initial session, Narin had opened up about the traumatic loss of his parents, and the impact it had on him into adulthood. Encouraged by his sister, he had finally decided it was time to confront his past. He knew it would be a long process with many sessions with Vura. Now, with the recent dreams, and disturbing visions, he needed this more than he cared to admit. He pressed the door chime, and waited patiently to be let in.
Vura's melodic voice answered, "Come in, Narin." She waited patiently and wondered where Narin would sit today.
Narin stepped into her office. “Hello, Vura,” he greeted. Without hesitation, he made his way to the familiar couch, settling into the same spot he’d chosen during their previous session.
"You're getting better at pronouncing my name," she informed Narin and took a seat by him. "How are you feeling today? Quite a lot happened recently..." she led as a matter of getting him to try and narrate.
“Thanks, I’ve been practicing,” he said with a small smile. He leaned back, considering her question. “I’m doing okay. Stepping in for Commander Maren right off the bat wasn’t exactly how I imagined starting my time on the Pioneer, but it worked out in the end.”
"Why don't you tell me about your experiences? Unlike you, I was in the pocket universe, so I really have little idea of what occurred on this side."
Narin looked around her office as he tried to find the right words to describe the time after the senior staff had vanished into the pocket universe. That time felt hazy, overshadowed by the nightmares he had been having. “It was long days, and even longer nights,” he said, looking over at her. “But I imagine it’s nothing compared to what you experienced in the pocket universe.”
Why the avoidance? Was he waxing poetic on purpose? "The pocket universe was quite dull, actually...at least for me. Tell me about those long days and nights."
He leaned back slightly. “Stepping in unexpectedly had its challenges, especially since I was still getting to know the crew and the team. Between that, figuring out where the senior staff had disappeared to, and figuring out why the ship was experiencing issues, it certainly made for some long days and nights.”
"So, what were you able to do? Who did you work with? How did you manage the lack of sleep?"
“It was definitely a team effort within the Science department. I worked closely with everyone there, along with Ensign Turner and Ambrose from Engineering, and Lieutenant Jayna.” He paused, deciding not to list everyone individually. “As for the lack of sleep? Adrenaline, necessity, and probably more coffee than I’d care to admit.”
"Ambrose?" Vura wondered. "Millie, right? Why were you working with her?"
Narin nodded. “Yes, Ensign Millicent Ambrose. She came to the Science department to see if we had any insights into what the nebula was doing to the ship and to inquire if we had any leads on the whereabouts of the senior staff.” Narin found himself curious as to why, out of everyone he had mentioned, Vura chose to ask specifically about Millicent.
"Ah! That makes some sort of sense. Mr. Turner probably stayed in Engineering, did he not? Such an interesting specimen, he is." She giggled gleefully. "I scare the living daylights out of him, I think."
"Mil....Ensign Ambrose did mention that Ensign Turner had sent her." Narin added. "Later I followed up with Ensign Turner in Engineering to discuss the nebula situation."
Vura noticed the hesitation and change from Millie to Ambrose and smiled. Interesting. He has an attraction to her. "Tell me, why are you being so formal?" A twinkle appeared in her eyes. "It does not sound like you think only of Millie in a professional capacity."
To no surprise the slip of the tongue hadn’t gone unnoticed. “With Ensign Turner, our interactions have only been professional. As for Ensign Ambrose, while I can see a potential friendship there, we were discussing a work-related situation, and using their rank and last name felt appropriate in the context,” Narin explained.
An evasion, Vura considered. Potential friendship, he says, but it seems like there is a desire for more. We should explore it, especially given his background. "Just potential?" Vura asked. "There is no reason to have any protocol with me, Narin. As I probably explained to you before, everything here is protected by the counselor-patient privilege. Of course, there are exceptions, such as if you plan to do harm to yourself, someone else, or the ship.... Otherwise, just be yourself with me. Let's not stand on ceremony, OK? Just tell me how you feel."
Narin nodded, acknowledging her words. Realizing that avoiding the subject would only make it more of a focus, he decided to address it directly. “Yes, potential.” He admitted. “Acquaintances happen easily enough, but true friendship, real connection, that takes time, effort, and trust. It’s something you have to build, not just assume.”
"I don't think so," Vura answered simply. "Maybe for being good friends or getting into a relationship. Of course, we could be talking about the same thing and just having a definitional difference. At the end of the day, you have to be comfortable with how things go. My opinions do not matter. I'm here to be a sounding board, to help, or maybe even illuminate."
She paused before continuing, pressing her lips together. "So, if there is potential, how do you think you can start to test it? To further it?"
“I don’t think it’s something that should be tested or forced,” Narin said. “But it can grow naturally by being present, showing interest, and allowing things to develop at their own pace.”
"Hmmm," Vura audibly hummed. "I think you have taken my words too literally. Are you certain that you're not an engineer?" she asked with a giggle. "But everything has a hypothesis, no? You're a scientist. Friendships nor relationships of any kind cannot develop without effort. There's no forcing. Essentially, what I was asking, was 'what's next'? How are you going to see if things grow?"
Narin chuckled. “Fair point, Vura. I might have overanalyzed that one.” He paused and thought about her question for a moment. "I guess it’s about being present, continuing to spend time together, and see how things unfold naturally. No experiments…. just observing and participating. ”
Vura gave Narin a satisfied smile as he used her name rather than her position. He still was missing the point completely, but she did not think they were going to make further headway on this topic today. I hope that he can figure out the concept of deliberately making time to be with a person before Millie finds someone else. Then again, she is rather gunshy right now, so perhaps this works for her.
"Just remember that Millie isn't a plant or a science project. Merely observing or being present may not be sufficient." She hastily switched slightly. "So have you been making any other connections with people?"
“I think there might be a misunderstanding about my intentions with Millie.” Narin stated feeling the need to explain the situation further. “I’m not looking to purpose a romantic relationship with her. I am interested in being her friend. I believe we’ve started to lay a foundation for that.”
Narin took a deep breath. “Honestly, there are things I need to work on personally before I am ready to let anyone into my life in that way, and I think she might have her own challenges to work through as well.”
Vura knew that Narin was right about himself and Millie. She was a bit surprised about his insight and was curious why or how he picked up on that with Millie. "I'm curious, why do you say that about Millie? That she has her own challenges?"
“It’s in the way she carries herself.” Narin said. “There’s this quiet nervousness, like she’s always second guessing how others see her and maybe how she sees herself.” He paused, carefully considering his next words. He didn’t want to betray Millicent’s privacy by revealing too much. "Plus, she did mention in a conversation that she’s working on feeling like her normal self again."
The Counselor nodded politely. She knew Millie's story too well, as she was her counselor. "That is definitely good to hear."
"I can tell she’s been through a lot," Narin said. "It’s encouraging to see her moving forward."
"If someone is not moving forward, that person is moving backwards. See, Narin, life is all about discovering who you are in the moment and who you want to present to the universe. We can strive towards things, but ultimately, it is the present that we live in. What's that old saying: Yesterday's the past. Tomorrow's the future. Today is a gift and that is why it is called the present."
Narin nodded thoughtfully absorbing her words. “It’s a good perspective to keep in mind. Sometimes it’s easy to get so focused on the future, or stuck in the past that we forget the present is where everything actually happens.”
"It is. The past may form us but we cannot let it control us or claw us back into its traps."
Narin nodded, sensing the conversation had naturally reached a pause. It gave him an opportunity to switch to something that had been on his mind. The dreams he’d been having were troubling at first. Vague and unsettling. But now, they seemed to carry a purpose, a message. He was curious if others might be experiencing something similar.
Looking over at her, he asked. “Do you dream?”
That was an unusual question. The Counselor wondered why he had started this thread. She leaned forward, her eyes narrowing slightly, and head titling slightly. "Sometimes," she answered before pausing. "Why do you ask? Are you having a dream that is troubling you?"
Her response had effectively addressed his initial question, but now that dreams were on the table and she had followed up, Narin knew he couldn’t avoid delving deeper. “Yes.” he admitted. “I’ve been having these dreams, recurring ones. They often revolve around me and my sister, and they’re always tied to loss in some way.”
Recurring dreams of loss? Hm. That's likely his subconscious not wanting him to move on but let's explore it more, Vura thought. "Are they always the same or do they change in some way?"
“They change.” Narin admitted. “The circumstances, the faces....sometimes it’s my parents, other times it’s my brother or my sister. But the loss is always there."
"That's certainly understandable. We have just started talking about these and perhaps those wounds have been reopened. I am curious, though, are these dreams new or have you had them before recently? You said they were recurring. How often have you been having them and have they increased in occurrences?"
"I’ve had these dreams on and off over the years," Narin began. "Sometimes they’re triggered by something specific event, a memory, or even something happening to those around me. Other times, they seem to come out of nowhere."
"The most recent ones… I think I have an idea of what’s causing them, but I’m not sure I can share it just yet." Narin leaned back slightly, his eyes searching hers for a reaction. "There’s a theory, one I’ve been entertaining, that these recent dreams might be influenced by an alien species." He paused, and chuckled. "You probably think I’m losing it now, don’t you?"
"An alien species?" Vura asked, clearly intrigued. "That's quite the theory. You say that you have had these nightmares on and off before, so what makes them seem like they would now be caused by anything that has not been by your own subconscious?"
"It’s the consistency and intensity of these recent dreams. They’re not like the ones I’ve had before. These feel different. They’re vivid, almost as if they're being projected into my mind rather than originating from it." He paused, his expression shifting as he remembered the beings that haunted his dreams.
"There are these figures I keep seeing. They're strange. Otherworldly. Pale skin, elongated features. Faces almost emotionless but somehow deeply unsettling. They don't speak in words." Narin shook his head. Discomfort showing. "It's like they're speaking directly into my mind.......and every time they do, it leaves this.......feeling behind. Hard to explain."
Vura leaned forward, becoming more curious as to Narin's case. "These figures that you see, have you ever seen them before these dreams started to get 'projected' at you, as you say? And, do they appear in the dreams or at some other point?"
The Deltan started considering the matter. Let's assume for the sake of argument that he is telling the truth, why would they contact him and nobody else? she wondered. Or are there other people who have experienced something like this? If feelings of loss are the trigger, why have they not contacted me or projected at me? After all, Cannir was killed. My true love, gone.
She further considered the problem. Perhaps the loss has to be more prominent in one's mind. I miss Cannir but I don't dwell on his loss like I used to. Perhaps we need to run some tests but let's get some more information first.
Narin shook his head at Vura's question. “No, I had never seen these beings before these dreams—or projections—started just a few days ago.”
"Alright, Narin. I believe you. Let's start with running some tests. Come with me. Let's go and visit sickbay and see what Hermia can see, alright?"
Narin glanced at her. "Is that necessary?" he asked.
"I believe so. If this is from an external force, we need to know that." If it is from an internal one, I need to know that and determine if you're a threat to Starfleet or this ship.
A Joint Post By
Lieutenant Narin Valen
Assistant Chief Science Officer, USS Pioneer
Lieutenant Vura
Chief Counselor, USS Pioneer
RSS Feed