Apologies

Posted on Wed Feb 12th, 2025 @ 11:36am by Commodore Tyler Malbrooke & Petty Officer 2nd Class Sofia Cipriani
Edited on on Thu Feb 13th, 2025 @ 12:07am

2,000 words; about a 10 minute read

Mission: Episode 16 - Silent Cries
Location: Ready Room - Deck 1 - USS Pioneer
Timeline: MD001 0900 hrs

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Tyler had sat at his desk in quiet contemplation. He had read through Sofia's reports about the events that transpired while that thing was in control. To say he was appalled was an understatement. Now, he had to figure out how to proceed.

In the days that followed the removal of that thing Sofia had performed her duty admirably and with little comment. However, the friendship seemed to be strained and Tyler wanted that mended. In a spur of the moment he decided that he would simply call her into the office and see where it went from there. "Hey Sofia would you come in here for a moment."

Tenterhooks had gripped Sofia for days. She was awash with anxiety, tension, and a nervousness that anything could unfold on this vessel she deemed home. Her recent encounter with the captain had left a profound mark; she had retreated into herself, wondering if perhaps she was to blame, if her actions had incited his vile outburst. His gaze lingered in her mind, hard to dispel.

As she entered the ready room, she positioned herself before his desk, deliberately avoiding his eyes, instead fixing her gaze on a point on the wall, and inquired, "Is there something you need from me, Captain?"

Before she could say anything further or he said anything Tyler held up one finger indicating that she should wait a moment. He took his rank pips off and placed them on the desk before him. It was a gesture to show her that in this moment he wanted them to be equals. Along with that theme he began to speak and used her first name. "Please sit down." Tyler paused as he thought how he would proceed and decided it would be best to just come out and say it. "Sofia, there has been a proverbial elephant in the room. I feel it is time that we perhaps clear this up. I have read your report and I have to say that I am truly sorry for what was said. The things it said are not what I think, not even close."

Sofia noticed Tyler take off his rank and it was then she knew that this probably wouldn't be a pleasant conversation. Not a bad one, maybe, but not one she was going to enjoy. Watching him gesture to the chair in front of him she hesitated slightly but still she sat down avoiding his gaze.

Listening to him talk it sent a little chill down her spine. The way he looked had changed. No longer was it the look of a paranoid and angry man. He didn't look at her like she wanted to snap her neck. Something small to be grateful for...

Sofia began to rub the back of her neck, a subconscious nervous habit and biting the inside of her bottom lip as she looked up at the man she revered. "It's fine sir, but you must be busy. We don't really need to talk about this." she said rising to her feet, almost trying to flee but her legs not taking her all the way.

"No, we do..." Tyler's voice trailed off as he realized that she probably did not want to talk about this. He decided to make an effort to put her at ease. "...In fact Vura says talking about this and clearing the air as it were is a step toward closure. I want you to know that you are an integral part of this ship, how it runs, and someone I have come to rely on more than most. I can't even begin to understand how those words have hurt you."

As her back was now facing Tyler she could feel her eyes begin to tear up. The thought of what he had said about her father, how her being absent was what killed him, that she could have been there and it wouldn't have happened cut deep into the young woman's heart. Most people forgot she wasn't even out of her teenage years yet as she went about her job to diligently and efficiently.

Rubbing her eyes, now reddened by emotion getting the better of her, she tried to remove the waterworks that had started. "They did hurt me." she said simply as she turned to meet his gaze. The captain's deep blue eyes, made her own eyes begin to water again. He had one of those faces you couldn't stay angry at, that genuine and caring demeanour. She quickly sat down and used the edge of her sleeve to absorb a stray tear that had rolled down the right side of her face. "And Counsellor Vura isn't always right..."

"I would agree, just make sure you don't tell her that." Tyler said as he stood for a moment and retrieved some tissues from his desk. He handed them to her and sat down. "It is and never will be my intention to hurt any member of this crew, my family. That thing that was in my head acted and..." His voice trailed off as he did not want to show the emotion that lay beneath these words. But, sometimes he could not help it. "...And despite my efforts I could not stop it. You are a member of my family. You will soon be Aunt Sofia after all. When we sign on to come out here we accept the risks. We understand that there is danger and that one day we may not make it. However, what we do not expect is for someone to take over our very being, our bodies."

"Oh I don't speak to her much... she kind of freaks me out a bit." Sofia admitted absentmindedly. Sometimes her mouth engaged before her brain stopped her. "No, I didn't expect that at all but it doesn't change how close to my heart..." she put her hand over it subconsciously almost gripping it tightly, "what you said about my dad, and it being my fault, hit. I already blame myself for it." she could feel herself getting upset and had to move up to the upper level and look out the window to try and regain some composure. She didn't want her captain to see her cry.

"One of the first things they teach in the Academy is that if someone follows your order and dies it is not your fault, and you should not treat it as such. Now, if we are going to say that is the case then there is no way that your father's death is your fault. We each have to follow our own paths, our own way in this universe and you went to follow yours. Which has led you here, which has made the universe a better place. We are all where we are because we have to be if that makes sense." Tyler knew that she hurt, and he was not sure exactly how to make her feel any better. At the moment he thought one of his patented speeches would help. However, there was a huge part of him that knew nothing but time would heal these wounds.

"If you order someone into a situation where they die, is that not your fault? They are still following orders..." Sofia countered but it was more out of a slight pettiness, not something she would admit. She knew her fathers death wasn't her fault, she wasn't home and even if she had been he would have been in his workshop and only by chance would he not have been. She hadn't been to the academy, she just wanted something different from her old fashioned life back home. There was no question she got it. Still, she felt guilty beyond measure she wasn't home to see her father one last time, at home to console her family, and be consoled by them. Distance made things so much more difficult.

"You are right about ordering someone to their death but you are also wrong. I will always feel as if it is my fault, but it will never actually be my fault. I did not create the situation that caused the order to me made. But that does not excuse the guilt that I feel." Tyler ran his hand through his hair and sipped his coffee. "Sof, you and I have more in common that we think. In fact I feel the exact same way that you do. My mother died while I was away on duty. I never got to say good bye or even tell her I loved her. While I know that she was not saddened by that for she knew it was my duty. That still does not squash the feeling, a feeling that I deal with every day. There is nothing you could have done, just as there was nothing that I could have done." Tyler paused and looked out at the stars as they went by and then looked back at Sofia. "Now, you are the only other person save for my wife who knows about that."

"I'm glad I'll never have to do that. I don't want to be in charge of anyone..." Sofia thought about the very idea of sending someone to their death. It would be for a good reason, to save the many to paraphrase Vulcans. "I wont tell anyone sir. You know I wont."

"I know and you are already in charge of someone. Me!" Tyler laughed. "Everyone knows that you are the power behind the throne as it were. I would have it no other way. At least for as long as you want to be here."

"I am not!" Sofia's cheeks flushed red. The very thought of anyone thinking that she was in charge of the captain made her feel uneasy. In her mind she just kept him on the right track and reminded him of things. "All I do is make sure you don't forget things and know the right things to say to strange alien species we've never met... which by the way takes a lot of research, just saying."

"And that is why you are the best. Listen, why don't you join Kat and I for dinner on the Promenade? It may help take both of our minds off of what has been and what may be. Besides, the baby needs to hear from Auntie Sof." Tyler felt somewhat better than when this conversation began. He hated what he said to not only Sofia but to a lot of the crew when he was under that thing's control. There would be a lot of work to do to get past it all.

Sofia nodded, "Alright, but how is a baby going to hear me? It's inside Commander Malbrooke. Do you want me to talk to your wives stomach? We are pretty good friends, we talk about you a bit but I don't know I'm that close." Sofia giggled a little.

"You know I am sure that Kat would love it. You can teach the kiddo some Italian. I will check with Kat and then we can set something up. In the meantime how about some barbecue, treat. I think we can do with a break." Tyler stood up, the lunch suggestion was his way of beginning to make it up to her.

"You can have some barbeque sir. You know I don't eat meat." Sofia smiled for what felt like the first time in a long while. She walked to the door and it swooshed open. Sofia stood waiting, "After you sir."

Tyler smiled as he made his way to the door. "Have I ever told you about my recipe for my bar-b-que tomato and gnocchi kebabs..."

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A Joint Post By

Commodore Tyler Malbrooke
Commanding Officer, USS Pioneer


Petty Officer Second Class Sofia Cipriani
Yeoman, USS Pioneer

 

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