Sometimes all you need is an outside perspective
Posted on Tue Jun 24th, 2025 @ 9:27am by Lieutenant Junior Grade Rachel Sinclair & Ensign Millicent Ambrose
Edited on on Tue Jun 24th, 2025 @ 4:54pm
2,506 words; about a 13 minute read
Mission:
Episode 16 - Silent Cries
Location: Main Mess Hall - Deck 2 - USS Pioneer
Timeline: MD008 1100 hrs
It was another day, and the ship still traveled to a planet unknown. The ship was all abuzz as to where they could be going. Speculations abound. Millie though didn't want to speculate anymore, she just wanted to have sometime to just get some real sleep, it wasn't coming to easily so instead she drank coffee and ate what she could. Trying to not think back on the conversation with Narin. She couldn't allow herself to waste away because of not eating. Stifling a yawn she headed inside the messhall, taking a look around at those that were there. She heard the rise and fall of hushed voices, deep in conversation. Okay time for another breakfast ( breakfast can be had anytime.), pancakes, bacon and two eggs on the side. Orange juice oh and can't forget coffee. Food gotten and now to get a table, where to sit.
Sitting at one of the tables in the messhall, Rachel was trying to write a letter to her parents just to let them know that she wanted to meet them and wanted to get to know them, but every time she had a start on the letter, something made her wipe it out and start again. At first it was too formal, then it was too informal. Then she felt that her words sounded too aggressive, then the time after that she overcorrected again and felt the words felt too timid.
Throwing the PADD down on the table, Rachel put her head in her hands and just tried to breath her way through her frustration. Surely this can't be that hard.
The clatter of something being tossed on a table which drew Millie's attention towards a woman, who she'd not seen before. And she looked a little bit distressed. Deciding to go check on her, Millie cleared her throat softly. "Hi, care for some company? "
Looking up at the woman, Rachel gave her a look of frustration and resignation before motioning to one of the empty chairs at the table, "Sure, why not. I could use a distraction"
Placing her tray upon the table Millie took a seat, "Thanks, my name's Millie, I work in Engineering. Where do you work?" she thought that the woman across from the table was interesting, and her tattoo was really pretty.
"Security, my name's Rachel" She replied, giving the woman a smile, "I like your hair"
"Thank you, I love your tattoo, its beautiful" a warm genuine smile. "How long have you been on the ship? I've not been here that long. " Millie picking up her sandwich to begin eating.
Rachel's expression dropped to a sadder one for a moment before she nervously licked her lips and smiled again, "Um, I've been onboard for a little while. I came here directly from the academy" she answered, trying to refocus her mind as a few buried memories surfaced, "Is this your first posting?"
"This is my first ship posting. I was on DS9 for my first assignment then got the opportunity to come here. Already it is becoming the best thing that has happened to me, bringing me out of the dark hole I found myself in. Enough about me though, you came here straight from Academy, and uh are you finding yourself feeling awkward, and not quite knowing where you fit in?" Millie wasn't certain if that was the case for Rachel.
Rachel looked at Millie with an expression of surprise, "are you a telepath? you basically described most of my experiences on this ship. Being thrown in the deep end as such has been quite the learning curve. On top of that, I find out that my long-lost parents are actually alive and have reached out to me. I'm trying to write a reply, but I just can't think of anything"
"I'm not a telepath, but I felt that way when I first arrived on DS9." With Rachel speaking about her discovery Millie gasped out. "Oh that would take me by surprise as well. Hmmnn... so maybe you can say uh- Hi mom and dad, its been a long while since I have seen you. I am glad that you are alive. Love, Rachel." Millie took a bite of her sandwich, "I know not much help there but, it would be a start?"
Rachel gave a sigh, "I tried that, but it just felt.....not enough. It's been years since we even knew the other was alive and now that I have a way to talk to them, I can't decide what to say. Part of me wants to tell them everything straight up, but another wants to tell them in person"
"Well, let me make a different suggestion. And its something I need to write to my family, since its been a bit since I've spoken to them. Mine would be dear mom and dad, just to let you know, I am alive and I am doing better. I don't mean to make you worried about me, and I know you are letting me have some space." Millie stopped there.
"For you though, Dear Mom and Dad, its great to find out that you are alive and hopefully doing well. There is so much I want to say, to express how I am feeling but words just don't seem to be enough. I would like to set up some time when we can meet each other in person. So much time to catch up, and just how can we bridge that gap?" Millie stopped there. "What do you think?" looking at Rachel.
Sitting in her seat for a moment, a single tear formed in her eye before she quickly wiped it away, “wow, you make it so simple and yet say so much. How do you do it?” She asked as she picked up her PADD and quickly wrote down Millie’s suggested letter before she forgot it.
"How do I do what? I was just trying to look at things from your perception, and you already said the words to me, so I just put them together. " Millie smiling. She rose from her chair and went around to give Rachel a embrace. "You've got this, Rachel, and you will be able to communicate with them"
Rachel's body stiffened as Millie's armed wrapped around her. She wasn't used to this kind of affection from anyone besides her adoptive father and while she tried to relax, Rachel still found it a little uncomfortable. "um....thank you. I guess I just needed an outside perspective." she said as she went back over the letter, changing a few things to make it suit her writing style. "You just seemed to have a better way with words then I do"
Millie noticed Rachel stiffening. "Oh ack sorry, normally I ask if a person wants a hug." her cheeks going to bright red. "I am sure you've got a way with words too. Though I need outside perspective as well, just to be able to not get stuck in my own thoughts." Millie moving back to her side of the table. "I can't believe I just broke my own rule, of no hugs without permission." she lowered her eyes down to her plate and began eating again. She was also silently berating herself for being this impulsive.
“Oh no, no, it’s ok. I just……I’m not used to being shown that kind of affection from strangers, or even crewmates. Please don’t be offended by my reaction” Rachel explained, feeling a little guilty herself. After seeing Millie’s saddened expression, she quickly stood up, walked around the table and returned her hug. It might have seemed to be a strange reaction to the current situation, but Rachel didn’t want someone else to feel sad because of her. She’d seen enough of that during her years as a slave. “Please don’t cry, I’m not upset”
Millie was surprised to receive a return embrace, she didn't flinch at the contact. "Oh don't worry, if I do shed a tear its just a little bit of an emotional left over from earlier Today." looking up at Rachel, a small smile appearing, "Its okay, I'm not offended. And I can relate. I hadn't allowed people to give me a hug for over a year, except for family members even then it was difficult. It’s been just in the past couple of months that I had actually allowed someone to give me an embrace. For a little bit I couldn't stand the thought of anyone making contact with me. So no worries."
Holding the hug for a moment, Rachel pulled away just long enough to drag her chair around to sit next to Millie, “wanna exchange horror stories?” She said with a warm smile. It surprised her how eager she was to open up to someone else who might be able to understand what she’d been through, but maybe this was what she needed after all. Not a counsellor, not a superior officer, just a friend.
Millie drew in a breath, the embrace from Rachel, the engineer could feel her own muscles relax. "Sure lets exchange, I don't mind at all." smiling warmly. Something about Rachel, Millie truly liked. "Tell me your story, and I'll tell you mine."
Rachel was reminding Millie about a friend she used to have before her friend moved away. Very pretty and very kind. Truly kind. Millie missed her very much and hadn't been able to get back into touch with her.
Hoping that Millie would go first, Rachel took a breath in to steel her nerves before she started, "well, I was kidnapped and enslaved when I was young, treated like dirt by the Orion that bought me. He chose to break me down by preventing me from having any friends. any time someone would get close to me, he would punish them any time I messed up."
Millie's eyes went rather round when she heard Rachel's story. "That is awful!" she exclaimed. "I got kidnapped by my ex fiance. I fell in love with someone who fit what I thought was my perfect one true only. Boy was I mistaken." she huffed.
"My friends warned me about him, I didn't want to listen. He was oh so perfect." Millie having a grimace as she spoke of this. "I did start to wise up when I was noticing that he was so demanding of my time, getting upset when I didn't let him know what I was going to do. He even tried to separate me from my friends. I broke up with him, and it wasn't pretty. He brought me down low. Three months after we broke up, I felt a sting and I went unconscious. I was just walking to my next class. When I woke up, I wasn't at academy, I wasn't home. I was alone in a cabin. With him. He tried to get me to marry him, held me hostage. He was using drugs to get me more amenable to what he wanted. "
Millie shook her head. "The drugs knocked me out too much so he decided to not use as much. He instead was putting a lower dose in my food. Anyway, I figured that out, played on his ego. Got him to feel comfortable that he was winning, then I was able to escape. That though shattered me, as he said quite a few rotten things. Made me feel, like I couldn't trust anyone or myself." "sparks of fire could be seen in her eyes, as she spoke about her ex.
"How did you get away from that Orion?" Millie turning her attention and the subject back to Rachel.
Rachel gave Millie an empathetic look as she listened to her story. She wasn’t going to turn this into a ‘who has the most tragic backstory’ competition. “That sounds awful, I can’t imagine someone being so obsessed” she said, placing a hand on Millie’s, “I didn’t technically escape the Orions. I was sold on the slave market and was fortunate to be purchased by an undercover Starfleet intelligence officer, who eventually adopted me.”
Millie thought over Rachel's tale. Just the thought of what Rachel endured definitely made what happened to her pale in comparison. Still though their experiences were bad enough. "You know, I am very glad he found you and adopted you. And as for our experiences, I think we need to fight against what happened to us, and not let it control us anymore. What do you think? I would like to be friends with you, how about it?"
Rachel nodded, “I’d like that. In fact, fighting back against my experiences is why I kept my tattoos” she said, her fingers tracing the blue markings on her face, “they were placed on me by the Orions master I served, I chose to keep them as a reminder to never give up again.”
Millie looked at the tattoos on Rachel's face, they looked like markings of a butterfly wings patterns.
"Are you familiar with butterflies? The markings that have been placed upon you, they remind me of the patterns of a butterfly's wing. There is a saying that butterflies are a symbol of transformation, hope, rebirth and beauty of change. I think that the Orion didn't realize he put something prophetic upon your face, predicting that your life will be changing, for the better." Millie giving a soft laugh, "That might sound a bit weird but that's my thoughts on it."
Millie’s words hit harder than she probably intended. For Rachel, the tattoos were nothing more than a constant reminder of her past and of the promise she made to herself. For someone to look at them as a symbol of change or as a thing of beauty, Rachel couldn’t help but start to cry. “sniff I never thought about it like that. Thank you”
Millie was worried that she made Rachel cry but when she heard her words, she couldn't help but cry a little bit as well, "Aww you're welcome." her voice cracking with her own emotions, and wiping away tears. "I think we've sprung a leak." giving a watery smile.
Rachel gave a small laugh before wiping away her own tears, “yea, I suppose we did” she said, giving Millie a warm smile, “You know, I think this is the fastest I’ve ever made a friend” she said, leaning over to give Millie another hug, “You’re something else”
Millie just laughed, "I hope that is good." giving a wink. "I am glad we are friends. " returning Rachel's embrace with a heartfelt one of her own.
A Joint Post By
Ensign Millicent Ambrose
Engineering Officer, USS Pioneer
Lieutenant Junior Grade Rachel Sinclair
Assistant Chief Security/Tactical Officer, USS Pioneer
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