Silent Thoughts Part I
Posted on Mon Jun 23rd, 2025 @ 7:36pm by Lieutenant Vura
Edited on on Tue Jun 24th, 2025 @ 4:12pm
1,994 words; about a 10 minute read
Mission:
Episode 16 - Silent Cries
Location: The Quarters of Vura - Deck 3 - USS Pioneer
Timeline: MD009 1700 hrs
For much of the crew, it could be considered dinner time. Vura could eat, if she wanted. However, she was lost in her thoughts. Somehow, she felt something tickling at the back of her brain, like she should know something but she could not remember it. She hoped that it was not important.
It was not often that she was introspective. There was too much there that she had no desire to face again. It was better to help others. Then the pain could go away or at least be forgotten.
However, she did not like the feeling of something being missing - something that she knew should be there. In hopes of recovering it, she decided to do a rare personal log.
Dramatically, she looked upwards and said, "Computer, personal log, Lieutenant Vura. Note the stardate, whatever it is."
The computer answered back, "Acknowledged. Stardate will be logged."
"Thank you, computer. Now where was I...?"
The computer answered, "Shall I play back your log?"
"Yes, please."
The computer obliged, and then the counselor had a thought. "Computer, before I continue, when was my last personal log?"
"Lieutenant Vura's last personal log was on the USS Alaska, Stardate...."
Vura cut off the computer. "I don't need to know the stardate. I'm well behind. Well, I guess I will have to give a much more in depth personal log, won't I?"
There was no response by the computer, so Vura said, "Begin recording again:
“Apparently, I have not made a personal log since I have come upon Pioneer, so this is likely to be quite lengthy. Currently, the Pioneer is on a mission that could get myself and the rest of the crew court martialed. We all elected to follow Commodore Malbrooke, who essentially stole his own ship, to assist a species known as the Silence. They are apparently a xenophobic species and have been sending out empathic and telepathic cries for help. At first, only empathic and telepathic beings were noticeably affected. Touch telepaths such as myself were not, presumably because we never touched one of their species. But now, everyone is effected at some level. Nightmares are common and sleep is difficult for much of the crew.
We were supposed to have a briefing with the Silence but they must not have shown up. All I can remember is waiting around with all the Chiefs of Staff and nothing happening for some time. I am told that the Silence make you forget meeting with them, but how would one know? Perhaps someone can record them so we can see and recall them? How can we help a species when we do not even remember what they want or what our conversations with them are? It is a conundrum.
While Commodore Malbrooke, well, Tyler, brought us out here on a humanitarian purpose, I do have concerns about his mental fitness. After all, he was taken over by a malevolent being. All things considered, he seems to be mentally fit, but I have concerns about the nature of such a stressful mission so soon after his mental and physical controlling. Again, at this moment, I am not seeing warning signs that he is unable to carry out his duties. However, he seems to be beginning to trust me, and we seem to be developing the sort of relationship where things do not have to be spoken aloud to get things done. It is a work in progress, but I have high hopes that we will get there.
That said, I have much greater concerns where the XO is concerned. Lieutenant Commander Tremble, is probably the most arrogant, stuck up, narcisissitc, and controlling individual that I have ever met. I have several issues with his behavior, starting with the fact that he does not respect my position at all. In fact, he dragged me out of my office just to attend to him and said that I would come when called, as if I was some dog to him. I reminded him that might not be in the crew's best interest, especially when I was with a patient, but he did not care. Talk about a power play!'
Vura shuddered and then continued, "Worse, he does not seem to understand the basics of Starfleet's mission. Here we are for humanitarian aid and his response is that he wants to essentially extort the Silence for our help by making them 'come out,' so to speak. That is not how the Federation. We have to assist all who request assistance, and it has to be without conditions. To do otherwise would be interfering with a species’ self-determination "
She shook her head again. "In short, I believe him to be a potential threat to the safety and well-being of this ship. However, at this time, he has not actually done anything that would justify me removing him from his position. He's simply an ass and if being an ass was a removable offense, Starfleet would lose at least one third of its staff."
"Speaking of Tremble, he's apparently dating Lieutenant Mira Jayna, who is half Bajoran and half Vulcan. Jayna specifically sought me out to try and determine why Tremble and I do not get along. Of course, revealing any of the information I just related in my log would be a breach of command and ethics, so I revealed nothing. She seems to be struggling with that. We did make flutes together and I think we established a connection, but I do not think she can fathom dating Tremble and being friends with me because she is involved with him. Apparently, she is unable to make the separation. Perhaps in time, that will change.
"I can't say that I truly know Commander Rowena McGowen well. Apparently for the majority of the time that I have known her, she was under the control of another entity. So, like Tyler, she will have mandatory counseling sessions with me. Rowena is very interested in Captain Edmund Merrick and he seems very interested in her, which makes things a bit complicated for me.
"You see, Edmund Merrick is a bit of a dolt; but, he's a sweet dolt. He did not remember the rules regarding Deltans when I first met him. He was still tied in knots about the death of his wife. However, he took my arm and hand, which allowed his heart to free himself. The problem is that because we have so much in common, I thought for a time that I was falling in love with him. In retrospect, I don't think that's the case, well, not in a romantic sense anyways. Because we have shared similar pain, him with his wife, and me with Cannir...." At this point Vura sniffled, coughed, and then found a tissue to blow her nose. She used another to wipe her right eye which had a tear forming.
"As I was saying, we have a lot in common with our losses. He was the first person that I could talk to about this freely. He made me feel, well, understood in a way that few could. So, we developed a deep friendship. The problem is, like most humans, he's hopelessly naive in so many ways, especially as to women. Right now, he's not talking to me. He got all huffy for reasons that I cannot comprehend when he was trying to dance with me with scarves. It caused a fight and then he's just gotten more and more distant. Worse, rather than talking to me about it, he talked to Zhara. More about her in a minute. In any case, I've done a really good job about being professional about Rowena and Edmund and have encouraged them both to build their relationship as best as they can.
"Lieutenant Zhara Rynn is my Assistant Chief Counselor. She was very welcoming when I first got on this ship, and she has a therapy dog, Sophia, that is quite sweet. I recently had a departmental meeting with her and she started looking for things to counsel me on. It was quite annoying. She is part Betazoid and she overly uses her senses when they are not desired. She also does not seem to understand Deltans well. I explained to her how I tend to enjoy trying new things and all of a sudden, she's inquiring if I'm running from my past. Most Deltans like to experience new sensations. She really needs to understand my species better. There’s nothing insidious about wanting to experience new things. Sometimes a Deltan is just a Deltan! But really, if I wanted to talk about my feelings with her, I would have come to her. It was rather presumptuous and intrusive of her, and I did not appreciate it. That said, she cares about the crew, and she is still willing to work with me in a professional capacity and I hope that it will stay just that.
"Tangential to Zhara is the Chief Medical Officer, Hermia O'Rourke. Hermia, Edmund, and Elen are my best friends on the Pioneer, but Elen is no longer here, sadly. Of course, we talked about Edmund not talking to me right now, so currently much of my social life goes through Hermia. Though, for a while there was Paisley and now Millie, but I'll get to them in a bit. Hermia, she also introduced me to an odd Deltan, Llaxia, who has both her and her sister living inside of Llaxia’s body. We were able to confirm that the two of them are in there. For me, Llaxia is a mixed bag. Whether Llaxia understands it or not, she is a reminder of home and all that I've lost. On the other hand, she is someone that I can touch and feel and be sensual with, without repercussions. Her sister, Jedeli, and Llaxia seem to have temporarily worked out who is in control of Llaxia's body. Jedeli finds me attractive, and I am ashamed to say that I have taken advantage of this situation. However, I just needed to feel desired and wanted, especially after Edmund and I had our tift. Also, it would probably be less complicated if Jedeli was finally separated from Llaxia, so that any ramifications that I have or had with either one of them is not shared with both. Hopefully, Hermia and I can sort out a way to separate them soon.
Professionally, Hermia is brilliant; however, personally, Hermia is a bit of a mess; but, I adore her anyways. She's so open an honest, despite being nervous about showing too much of herself. Honestly, saying she is a mess, is probably an understatement. She holds resentment towards her parents, has a child somewhere that I have yet to meet, and has some serious trust issues. Yet, she opened up to me on our first meeting. However, she opened up a bit too much and definitely mistook my friendliness for something more despite explaining to her numerous times that I cannot get involved in a relationship, because you guessed it, after my physical, she kissed me on the lips. It was not consensual and it resulted in her passing out. I think she still holds a candle for me, as she introduced me to her mother, though I would never let things progress beyond a friendship with Hermia. Besides, she refuses to let go of her emotional baggage: her anger, fear, and pain. She feels the need to be in control of things because she has experienced so much pain in her life. It is all understandable, but for her to grow, my friend is going to have to learn to trust again, and someone other than me.
A Post By
Lieutenant Vura
Chief Counselor, USS Pioneer
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