Silent Thoughts Part II
Posted on Mon Jun 23rd, 2025 @ 7:36pm by Lieutenant Vura
Edited on on Tue Jun 24th, 2025 @ 4:50pm
2,162 words; about a 11 minute read
Mission:
Episode 16 - Silent Cries
Location: The Quarters of Vura - Deck 3 - USS Pioneer
Timeline: MD009 1730 hrs
Professionally, Hermia is brilliant; however, personally, Hermia is a bit of a mess; but, I adore her anyways. She's so open an honest, despite being nervous about showing too much of herself. Honestly, saying she is a mess, is probably an understatement. She holds resentment towards her parents, has a child somewhere that I have yet to meet, and has some serious trust issues. Yet, she opened up to me on our first meeting. However, she opened up a bit too much and definitely mistook my friendliness for something more despite explaining to her numerous times that I cannot get involved in a relationship, because you guessed it, after my physical, she kissed me on the lips. It was not consensual and it resulted in her passing out. I think she still holds a candle for me, as she introduced me to her mother, though I would never let things progress beyond a friendship with Hermia. Besides, she refuses to let go of her emotional baggage: her anger, fear, and pain. She feels the need to be in control of things because she has experienced so much pain in her life. It is all understandable, but for her to grow, my friend is going to have to learn to trust again, and someone other than me.
"On the other hand, her assistant, Jordan Spencer…. Well, I don't like him much. He says he is diagnosed with PTSD from being a marine. He had a wife and child who died in an accident. Of course, that made me naturally sympathetic towards him at first. However, in our session, he tried to make it about me, despite claiming to need assistance. He then tried, poorly, I might add, flirting with me, despite the Oath and had a rather grandiose opinion of himself and his accomplishments. Other than helping him professionally, I have no desire to interact with him further."
"Now, I previously briefly mentioned Paisely and Millie. They're part of the Engineering Department. Truth be told, the Engineering Department is a grand emotional mess. Is that surprising when Jedeli/Llaxia is a part of it? OK, that was an unfair comment. However, Elen, when she was here, was the Chief Engineer. She just got transferred and I still have not met the new Chief Engineer.
I miss Elen dearly. She was my confidante. She understood that men are stupid. We could drink together, and she was funny. I rather enjoyed her, but she's gone now. Elen had a weird rule that nobody was supposed to use rank in Engineering, so most don't use it at all. Consequently, when I talk about them, I may not either. I've sort of acclimated to their odd way of doing things.
"When I first got here, Paisley F'rar was the Assistant Chief Engineer. I'm not sure who it is now. It could be Connor Turner or Millie Ambrose, but I'm not really certain. There seems to be a bit of a power vacuum with Elen having departed. In any case, Paisley was full of life and, as she called herself, the Cajoran, was a real mess. Not only was she the product of a Cardassian and a Bajoran, but she was probably one of the most needy beings I met. She liked attention but she was a lot of fun. There was never a dull moment with her. I found her exciting. She did seem to like torturing Connor Turner quite a bit. In the end, she did confess that she had a crush on him, but Connor has a great deal of trouble with women. I tried to explain that her actions were pushing him away from her, but she never understood it, or if she did, it was too late, because she was transferred soon thereafter.
"Though, I hear Conno has a girlfriend, now. To my surprise, it is not Millie, but a woman named Marjani. I would have bet at least fifty latinum on Millie and Connor getting together. When Millie first got here, she was as shy and awkward as Connor. They seemed to have a lot of chemistry together, being the only member of the opposite sex that either of them could talk to. In addition, they were both part of the same Academy classes. But apparently Cupid had other plans. Narin seems to be very interested in Millie, but it looks like Millie has come out of her shell and seems to be playing the field. Oh, goodness! I had to go shopping with that woman. She was in desperate need of a new wardrobe. So much drabness had to be pitched. More excitingly, though, she has promised me a ride on something called a motorcycle. I'm looking forward to that at some point in the future.
"Mentioning Narin, brings me to the Science department. Narin is the Assistant Chief Science Officer and is quite comfortable with his sexuality based on my meetings with him. Of course, he is Betazoid, which makes it more commonplace. Much of his family was killed in the Dominion War and he suffers from survivor's guilt. He's starting to come out of it and with some time and guidance, he will be able to move on. Perhaps that was why he and Millie did not move further? He's still healing.
"His commanding officer is Alyssa Maren. She's another partial Betazoid." Vura stopped for a moment to make a non-sequitur. "What is it about the Betazoids? Do they have to propagate with everyone? Do they not like their own kind? They're everywhere, or at least everywhere on this ship!" She laughed heartily.
"I think I like Alyssa. Like many scientists, she puts things in mental boxes. I'm a bit worried that at some point I offended her. We both like to dance, which could be fun if we ever got together. Though, Vulcans might admire her dedication to science. She makes certain that she is unadorned so that experiments and she do not mix. She and Lieutenant Mignon Mejia survived being kidnapped, drugged, and psychologically tortured. She blames herself for not being able to do more to assist Mignon even though Alyssa logically knows that at the time she could not have done more.
"And Mignon, she was diagnosed with chemically-induced BIID. As I just hinted, she cut off her own foot as a result of the drugs and torture. She seems to be making progress. Like Alyssa, she's compartmentalizing. Some of that could be concerning, because just putting her experience in a box does not really confront it. However, she reports that she isn't often having thoughts about her own foot being a foreign object anymore. I should have liked to have gotten to know her before her experience. From the way that she described it, she was a happy person prior to her experience. Though, even then, she described herself as being too wrapped up in her job and an introvert. I've encouraged her to spend time with more people. Hopefully that will do two things: 1) make her realize that she has support, and 2) keep her thoughts off her foot or potentially amputating it. Eventually then, it would become a habit to recognize her foot as part of her, even subconsciously, so that these thoughts would be banished."
The Counselor moved over to the replicator and then took a glass of water from it before continuing, "I still can't remember what I feel like I'm missing. So, who have I left out? Let's see, I talked about the command staff.... Oh! I didn't talk about security and tactical. The Chief Security Officer, Ja'sol, he's way too serious for his own good. Apparently, he had some difficulties with a Betazoid counselor and he has transferred some of those feelings towards me. He can only handle direct and straightforward conversations. While that's not an issue, it is far from fun. He does seem to take a bit too much pleasure in the concept of battle, which concerns me. However, he also has a natural curiosity. He also wants to work together to improve the morale of the ship. That said, his view of the ship's morale is almost marine-like naive. He's well meaning, as far as I can tell and we should work well together.
"Under him is his Assistant, Rachael Sinclair. She's extremely fascinating and also such a sad story. Rachel is an Orion and Romulan hybrid. Until recently, she thought that her parents were dead. She's a really sweet, but insecure woman. She's understandably nervous about meeting her parents but only is able to focus on the negative 'what if's,' which paralyzes her from making a choice, which, of course, is a choice. I think that I've gotten her to the point that she will message her parents for a time and date to have a chat." Her voice turned to an audible hum and a musing tone, "I probably should follow up on that soon."
"Until recently, we had Lieutenant Thex sh'Zoarhi. I have yet to meet with the new Chief Operations officer, Kolok. I look forward to meeting the Klingon. Thex, was Andorian, and frankly, I am not disappointed that she is gone. She took credit for other people's work, notably Connor and Paisley's. She also self described herself as erratic and angry. How she kept getting positions with responsibility, I don't know. I frankly had concerns that she might be delusional, as well. But I should not dwell on her. She's gone. Good riddance.
"Now, something that I've never had before is an assistant, but apparently being a Chief Counselor has its perks. I have one now. Her name is Nina Lawson. She's a Petty Officer and she is very eager to please and also is my personal guard. I probably underutilize her, but I've never had an assistant before. She's from that small island on Earth called England, just like Connor, but she's a lot more open. Just for comparison, on the scale where 1 is completely closed off and 10 is completely open, Nina is a 9 and Connor is a 2.
"I think there is only other one other person that I should mention. I don't have a lot to do with her because, of course, the marines are off of my radar for the most part. It is Audie Fitch. We got off to a rather awkward start on our first meeting, but we were able to get over that hump and became friends. Audie is full of energy and life. She also is quite dedicated to her one-eyed cat, Buster. Then again, I don't think that she would say that Buster is hers but that she is Buster's.
"That said, Audie is really sensitive when it comes to the subject of relationships. When I asked her if she was involved, she got rather defensive. I suspect that someone hurt her in the past, but she has not revealed anything of the sort. But much about Audie is paradoxical. She seems to be a free spirit, but she says that she joined the marines for structure. She is rather sensitive and sweet, but I get the impression that she could use her training to kill you without blinking. How could I not be interested in such a person?
"Of course, Audie suggested that I need a cat. Well, I may actually have one now. The ship's cat, Mister Tumnus has taken a liking to me. We seem to have some sort of intuitive conneciton. To make him feel more welcome, I have given him a cat bed in my office and have given him some toys. I rather hope that he will stay more often in my office. After all, I can pet him without fear and gives me a certain purpose. So, maybe Audie was right? Who would have known that a marine could be so philosophical and insightful?"
Vura exhaled a heavy sigh. "I think that I have gone through everyone that I know, and I still cannot remember what I've forgotten. How irritating!" She gave an audible growl and said, "Computer, end log. Play back. Maybe I can remember what I forgot after hearing it again."
The computer did as she was instructed. However, after the playback Vura was no closer to figuring out what she forgot than when she started. "Well, if I can't remember it after all of this, then I guess it was not important. Perhaps it is time for dinner, after all."
Vura changed and headed out, debating whether she would go to the mess or After 11. Wherever she ended up, she knew it would be an experience.
A Post By
Lieutenant Vura
Chief Counselor, USS Pioneer
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